March 27, 2002
I went into this audition today with a whole big bundle of confidence. Much like the Dexter Prep test, I felt that this part was mine to lose. Much like the Dexter Prep test, I lost it.
I don't really know what happened. Between last week's work session and studio test, and today's network test, something must have gone horribly wrong. I thought I did the scenes as well as I had ever done them. I thought I hit the beats and jokes I had been "work-sessioned" toward. I thought it went very well and I felt great coming out of the room. And yet, upon returning home this evening I received word from my manager: They are going to keep looking.
Now officially, I am not out of the running, Of the four gentlemen who tested today, three of them were let go. I was not let go. I was not hired either. The official word is that they want me to come back in next week and test all over again with a new group of gentlemen that they will be assembling over the next 7 days. So I'm still alive.
Hardly. My agent and manager and I all agree that going back in would be a mistake. They just want another chance to disapprove of me and make their decision a firm no. I did very well today. I brought to the role everything I wanted to. I played the material just as I would like to when actually shooting it. I did what I do. If I go back in again next week, I am going to do what I do again, and it's not going to convince anyone who didn't like me before to like me then. The only effect it will have is allowing people who weren't sure to be swayed into believing I am wrong for the role. It's a no-win situation.
So the decision was made to sit tight and not go back in. Who knows? Maybe they won't find anybody and they'll call back and offer me the job. I wouldn't hold my breath, though. It's like having someone dump you and then hoping they'll somehow change their mind. It doesn't happen in the real world. Then again, who ever said Hollywood was the real world? If they do call and offer me this job, we will say yes to that.
Next step: Work Session #2.