The problem these days is that the show is lumbering on under the weight of the Unknown Future. So much emotional effort is put into the nagging question of whether the show will be picked up or not. It's the topic of at least half of the conversations on the set. It's too important not to be, I guess, but on the other hand there is nothing we can do about it and all the talking anyone can do is just speculation anyway. We don't know what ABC is thinking. Even ABC doesn't seem to know what ABC is thinking. This can't be a good way to run a network, can it?

My performance tonight may have been missing its usual sparkle. I think part of the problem was my appearance on later last night. It was such an amazing rush of excitement and adrenaline that my head is still swimming a bit. It was just me on display up there. That raised the stakes so much higher and made me so much more responsible. They were my stories and my material and Ducey instead of Ford and all that came together to make me very nervous and then very excited once it was accomplished. There was a sense, too, that I was in control of what I was doing. On Oh Grow Up I feel like I have increasingly less input. Maybe I just offer ideas less often now, but I feel like most of the time when I suggest or request something, it's wrong. It goes back to the Hunter/Chloe episode when I wanted to change my advice to Chloe and I was summarily shot down. Smaller battles have been lost since then and each one makes me feel a little less part of the creative process. What's worse is that I am beginning to feel that I don't merit any place in the creative process. That is very frustrating. And here I thought I was such a funny guy.