July 23, 2002
1:45pm
The network test is in an hour and I am starting to get a little giddy. I really think I have a good shot at this. Truthfully, I thought I had it in the bag until yesterday. All along, the secret word on the street has been that I am the top choice for the role. Of course, that means nothing until the decision is made (see Dexter Prep) but it is a nice feeling going into the room. Yesterday the semantics changed. "It's between you and one other guy," became the new mantra. Translation: "You're number two right now."
There are three of us going to network today. I guess the third guy is not as strongly in the running as me and #1. I'm sure they don't tell him that, though. There must be an entire different set of semantics for that situation. I bet when I was testing for People who Fear People, my agents were told a lot of the comments reserved for the back-up guys going to test. They probably just don't pass them along to the actor.
But anyway, I digress. I may have let my hopes get up a little too high over this role. It has felt so likely to be mine since the first day I read for it. It will be that same Dexter Prep empty feeling afterwards if I hear the role has gone elsewhere, but this time I will have been beaten my someone doing the same thing I am. When Andrew beat me out for Dexter Prep, his choices were completely different from mine. In this case, I could hear this guy's audition on Friday and he is doing basically the same thing I am doing with the scene. So if he gets it, he outdid me head-to-head. That's going to be even worse.
But let's stay positive. Big day today. Lucky for me I actually enjoy
the testing process. I have had much success at this stage of the
process. Even when I don't get the job, the feedback is usually quite
good. So now I'm going to let the excitement of the day get me giddy
again. Here goes nothin'...
Got it.
Let's not beat around the bush. I did it. I nailed it. I got it. The other guys never had a chance.
It was a long afternoon. A 2:45 arrival and a 4:45 audition. I filled the two hours by pacing about 4.3 miles in the lobby of the WB offices. I must have run the scene 30 more times in my head while wearing out their carpeting. Every once in a while, I would blank on what line came next. It was just enough to keep me on my toes and keep me focused on the task at hand.
I had been in this office once before. My very first network test was here at the WB over four years ago when I read for Madness Reigns, a pilot with Tim Curry that never saw the light of primetime. It was an odd feeling to turn the corner into the office and feel of wave of nostalgia and accomplishment wash over me. I feel like I have come so far since that first network test. Back then, I knew nothing. I earned next-to-nothing. I just went along with the flow, trying to figure things out on the fly. Today, I felt good. I felt confident. I knew I could turn in a good reading at this level, and I thought I was a good fit for this part. It was good to be back in this room. And I felt the results would be different this time.
The 15 or so people crammed into the office were great. They laughed loudly and generously at my second line. That is such a stress-reducer. Up until that first laugh, you don't know how to time the scene. Should I be holding for reactions? Should I plow through and create my own rhythm? But a nice response (from network people, no less) made all the concerns go away. When the laughs come in the places you expect them, it makes the whole scene come together.
They finally released us as 5pm was approaching and Beth Klein stopped by to ask me a quick question.
"You got the job," she said. (Yeah, I know. That's not really a question.)
And that was it. No waiting by the phone. No wondering what they were deliberating over. No continued search for someone who is better, ala Sun Gods. The role was mine.
And maybe it's not the same feeling as starting a new pilot, with all
the unknown potential and excitement, but a steady job on an
established show feels just about as wonderful.